I was discussing languages the other day with a friend who is currently studying Icelandic. She complained about the way vowels change in Icelandic when verbs change tenses.

English was compared, and as usual the claim was "English is easy, it doesn't do that!" At the time I agreed, sort of, but after giving it some thought I've come to the conclusion that English is really no better. In fact it's quite a bit worse because it behaves so irregularly. You can see very typical Icelandic behavior in many English words. Take for example the word "sit", which becomes "sat" in the past tense. It behaves just like the equivalent Icelandic word, "sitja" - "sat" in the past tense. Historically, it's probably the same word.

And there are lots more where that came from: Hold, held. Eat, ate. Ride, rode. Bite, bit. Come, came...

Now, the thing about Icelandic is that although it has lots of rules, it's also relatively consistent and there aren't all that many exceptions. English on the other hand, isn't. Exceptions are the norm. Take for example the word "hit". It looks just like "sit", is a verb, so it's perfectly reasonable to expect it to behave in the same way. The logical conclusion is that the past tense of "hit" should be "hat".

It isn't. But let's imagine for a moment that it was.

Then I could go around saying things like, "That microwave dinner really hat the spot!" or "I was this close to pouring beer all over Björk at the bar this evening, maybe I should have hat on her instead!"

That would be so cool.

Alas, English is a very unpredictable language and the past tense of "hit" is just "hit", which is totally boring. So I can't use "hat" as a verb, no matter how much I'd like to.

At least not if I want anyone to understand me or take me seriously.